24 Jan

Monster Mashed Potatoes

Lord Fartwater

The butter flies into my mouth.

Q: What did the butterfly say to the caterpillar?  /  A: See you soon.

Moths love to eat clothes. They chomp 100% cotton, nibble polyester, munch and crunch through leather, and bite into morsels of wool. But not Myra the Moth. She loves clothes. In fact, she wants to be a fashion designer.

Santasaur flew in his prehistoric sleigh led by 8 flying raptors.

“On vomit, on stupid,” said Santa Claws.

“I’m all grown up,” said the Easter Rabbit as it stuffed each basket with toothpaste, ricecakes, and newspapers. Worst of all, he didn’t hide the baskets. He just placed them on the dining room table.

  • Red Denim
  • White Denim
  • Blue Denim too
  • My jeans are American
  • How about you?

Tiptoeing tonsils trek past her teeth.

Derek couldn’t afford to have his wisdom teeth removed.

It was so hot, she thought the sun was staring directly at her.

Ketchup & Mustard Ice Cream

The pillow who refused to fight.


The Sleepstealer took a nap.

It was like finding a straw of hay in a pile of needles.

You can’t teach a dog old tricks. It already knows them.


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