beegull dillophant

29 Nov

“My Mother’s name is Mom.”

Ready Teddy Goes to School

Gilbert’s knees fought the carpet as he begged  his parents for a pet monkey. They said no. So he filed for divorce. Then a monkey family adopted him as their pet. The beginning.

Ceros Potamus

“It was raining so hard we swam up to the clouds.”

Jeremy entered his nose in the hair growing contest.

Mingo the Dingo Plays Bingo

“What is a star?”

    • “They’re lost lightbulbs”
    • “Connect the dots for giant aliens.”
    • “They’re space snowflakes”
    • “My Grandpa says they aren’t real. It’s all a conespearasee!”
  • “They’re night lights for planets afraid of the dark.”

The President of the United States of Canada

Kip was so short he thought his legs were afraid to grow.

Miss Hello was patient and relaxed while Mr. Goodbye was always in a hurry.

Samson was a lazy lad. The only time his room was cleaned was when he left the window open and a bullying wind pushed the dust off his furniture. Though that was years ago, and since then the dust has been piling, gathering, and plotting! One day when Samson came home late for dinner, there was someone at the table sitting in his chair. It looked like Samson, but it wasn’t. Rather, it was a dusty clone. Samson wasn’t recognized by his parents and soon faded away to dust, which was then swept away by the dust boy.

Reginald’s ears were located at the bottom of his feet. “I have to wear earplugs when I run,” he said.

Letters to God in a Garbage Can

The Plant Parade

Where do babies come from?

    • “The Baby Catalog. It’s online now too.”
    • “They’re recycled from old people.”\
    • “They crawl out of a Mommy’s dream.”
    • “When a white elephant wears a diaper, instead of poop, a baby is born”
    • “They come from London. They come from France. They come from a Mommy’s underpants.”
    • “They come from the dust on library books. But babies cry too much, so the librarians kick them out.”
  • “They use time machines. In the future, evil giant robots turn everyone into babies. No one can work, cook, or clean, so they escape one at a time in a little time machine.”

Lenny had lots of teeth. Though they were no longer living in his mouth. He kept them in a jar. But Lenny still went to the dentist. He loved licking lollipops! He loved them so much he thought about putting lollipops in the shape of teeth inside his mouth, then he could lick his teeth whenever he wanted. But Lenny knew he would eventually lick his mouth empty; again.

Aunt Farm

When Lyla entered the Candy Making Contest she thought everyone would dip strawberries in chocolate. She wanted to be different. She wanted to win. So Lyla made white chocolate lollipops in the shape of donkeys that tasted like chicken.

The Awesomers

Yamaguchi Kamito was his name, but his friends called him Yamaka for short.

The Boy with Two Noses

When Susanna visited her Grandparents at Whispering Wrinkle World, she heard a familar bell. “Ice Cream Man!” she screamed. But as the truck emerged from behind the wooden fence, her excitement melted away. “Get your frozen vegetables on a stick!” yelled the driver. Disappointed, Susanna went to the playground. But instead of a slide there was an elevator. The swings weren’t any better. A sign read “Speed Limit: 1 mile per hour.”

Mr. Picnic lost his basket.

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