18 Oct

Miss Cornwallis had the look of a miniature princess, but had the personality of a garbage disposal and the breath of a toilet.

Now this sandbox was quite strange. It preferred adults to play in it.

Riley was not a fan of washing dishes, but he did enjoy taking baths. While other boys had rubber duckies, boats, or spitting sharks, Riley had plates, bowls, spoons, and forks.

“Daddy, why does this petting zoo have a dragon?”

For his birthday, Kinley received a Yo-No. Once it goes down, it never comes up.

Ms. Motamus was so plump, she wore a hula hoop for a belt.

Nolan didn’t like being a 2nd grader. He dreamed of being in the third grade. Third graders had window seats in the cafeteria. Nolan could sip his milk and keep an eye on the playground at the same time. But for now Nolan was stuck in the second grade. Instead of reading, writing, adding and subtracting, Nolan spent his time doing something else; building. Nolan decided to skip the 2nd grade and land right in third. To do this he was building a giant slide. A slide so big it was taller than a flying castle and longer than a parade of snakes. When the other 2nd graders ordered their favorites from the book fair, Nolan was shipping in plastic, wood, steel, and whatever supplies one needs to build a slide. When the other children sang Christmas carols, Nolan whistled as he pounded another nail into place.  When the children finger painted the rising flowers of Spring, he splashed on a tidal wave of red. When they packed up their bags on the last day of school, Nolan was finished. He stood atop his giant red slide shouting “Third grade here I come!” He slid faster than a hungry cheetah. He slid for minutes, he slid for hours, he slid for days and weeks, and even months. When he reached the bottom, summer had set. Autumn had fallen. Winter had melted, and spring had blossomed, summer had set again. Just as Nolan landed he made his way into the cafeteria to claim his window seat. But it was too late, Nolan was now a 4th grader. “Fourth graders over there,” said the lunch lady pointing to the very back of the cafeteria. So Nolan skipped lunch and began work on a swing set.

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